Doctor's Notes

( '/All/ wars are idiotic.' (Finch, Alexis, Murphy-NPC) )

( 'It has made me weary, to discover, time after time, that you are alright, to finally be certain, and then to wake up have it shattered over my knees.' (Alistair) )

Gretchen Greene is alive and hanging the rafters of monorail stations.

She had some wise words. She's always been a smart girl.

And she's right. About a lot of things. Maybe everything, but I'm not sure yet. Things needs to play out a little more before I can tell.

I am still a doctor. Patching up Lachlan, Desmond, Milo, and Charon's proved that. I could be a ripper I could be a decent street doctor I can help people.

I just need to find a damned supplier. And a place. Or a bigger bag.

---

I did my best to cover the gun. I don't know how Desmond will react to seeing it. I can only imagine he'll be happy to see me. If he isn't, well...that'd be weird. But then again, my life hasn't been exactly normal lately.

Such a sweetheart. A bottle just for me.

He's lucky the break wasn't that bad and the ripper he went to didn't fuck it up too badly.

But I got what I wanted...sort of.

Now all I need is a plan of attack.

My claws are sharp.


I also need more pills.

I went to Dietrich's today to get some clothes. Larry sent me a letter - a pretty package of even more bullshit. I'm glad I got it after I found out about Raven. It's

It's better to be angry than depressed. I can mourn later. I did it for Aaron.

Dietrich had her incinerated and cast off the wall into the wind just like Aaron. It was quick for her. Sudden. There was nothing I could do. Why does this happen when things pull me away?

I couldn't have gone back to the den. I couldn't risk leading Adil to Dietrich's doorstep. I can't risk that now, especially since Cordula fucked up Charon's leg.

Abbey's still being a bitch, and I still don't get why. Unless she just likes it. I liked her better when she was sweet.

And what he hell happened to that pup? All I did was play a little joke on her and tell her the damned truth about her greyback, and she has to go spouting Larry's Lies. If she wants to be an adult, I'll fucking make sure Charon sees her as one. Little bitch. I may not be a greyback, but if pups think they can sass me without consequence, they've got another goddamned thing coming.

Dietrich will send some of my things to Imre's. Clothes. Books. Pictures.

Desmond gave me more pills. Thank fucking God for Desmond. And I made it so he can't smoke. It's very satisfying to know that. Who'd have thought my 'disappointed face' could be an imprinted deterrent?

Lung cancer killed that hunter, but it and other tobacco-related diseases take as many shifter lives as hunters or slavers.

That might be a battle I can win.

I always knew Diego had a good heart. I should send him the lyrics to the song.

It's not fighting fire with fire, because my words aren't all...twisty.

Deckard said something odd about my suggestion of stealing pills. Given, I'm sure those pills are supposed to go to people who really need them. But I really need them too.

This tree juice tastes like shit.

It works though. A little.

Petty? Petty?

Where the fuck does he get off calling me petty?

Is it petty not to want to have anything to do with the guy who stabbed me in the gut?

I don't think so.

But I do want something to do with him. I want him to survive long enough for me to return the favor. And his knife.

Singing with Milo was fun. I hope the tune catches on.

( 'I am sorry to have to deal with such a petty woman.' (Adil, Clairbel, Thalin, Milo, Jase) )

OOC Note: Milo and Ilse sang the following song (quite loudly) all they way from the Fanged Flagon along a windy route to the Tower View apartments in Brighelight.

( 'Larry the Spinster' )

Charon
Claribel (maybe?)
Milo
Thalin
Estelle
Abbey
Callisto
Desmond
Imre


I need to do a lot of thinking.

( 'So Adil bested you in a fight.. Not that it was much of a fight if you was involved I'm sure.' (Abbey) )

Even if Imre'd left his rifle, I'd still feel better having Claribel and her fuzzywuzzys pack off my back. Bitch got my burger all dirty. Thank God I couldn't taste the difference through the grease.

She hit my stomach too. I'm going to run out of meds before tomorrow at this rate.

If everyone was punished for every stupid thing they ever did you'd have a lot of punished people.

I don't feel poetic. I hurt. And I'm hungry.

If I could shift, I'd hunt. But it would just hurt more.

I need to shower. Maybe if I clean up decent and find some clean clothes or even just wash these well enough I'll try to sneak to the Upper Level and raid the old fridge.

There's got to be Chinese in there.

( 'You have three seconds.' (Claribel) )

Claribel interrupts Ilse's dinner in Bridgelight. Words and exchanged, and Ilse receives a present from her former "ally" of sorts - a head butt to the gut. All ends well, and Ilse is allowed to stay in Feral territory in order to recuperate.

Have all the demons in hell come to torment me?

I am not wea

It doesn't matter what Charon, or Larry, or Navarre, or Adil, or fucking Crawford, or the Ferals, or even the Shadowstalkers think.

I don't have to prove anything to anyone anymore.

Fuck them.

I suppose I should thank Adil for alleviating the burden of fucking image.

Have fun with it, you bastard.




Imre doesn't have any damned food. I wish I'd gotten him into burgers again.

I'm hungry, dammit.

OOC: This is a mental entry.

Des...shot?

Des.

Idiot.

I'll find pills in the morning. Or a shot. Morrrrphiiiine.

Sleep now.

( 'Read the.... read... fucking bottle.' (Desmond) )

OOC: This is a mental entry.

FUCK

Fucking asshole. God, it hurts.

I didn't deserve this. Did I? No, I don't think I did.

He's following me. Why the fuck is he following me? Does he think I'll lead him back to the den?

Ha.

Think again, you Claw bastard.

This might have been all Charon's idea.

Fucker would do somethi

Aahaagahaahagah.

Hard walking

Hurty

Need the bigass needle

Dammit

( 'You've lost favor among many.' (Adil, Larry) )

Larry, Adil, and Ilse run into each other, but the encounter turns south quickly. Adil and Ilse fight for leadership of the Acerbi. With a knife in her belly, Ilse refuses help and slinks off, a lone wolf for the first time in her life.

Callisto loved me. Loves me?

And Deckard wants me, as bad as he is at trying to get me.

What the fuck?

I'm not sorry I destroyed his smokes. He'll thank me later, if he ever manages to kick the habit. I wonder if Desm

That ass kept my bra. I'd ask Lachlan to get it back for me when he goes to pick up his dog, but I have a feeling the Scot would keep it for himself.

I don't care what Callisto might say or think. He's not an amazing guy. He's a drug dealer and a playboy. He's not a catch like D a catch.

It did feel good to patch him up. I wish I'd have been able to do a better job so he wouldn't have had to be taken to that damned upper level clinic.

Estelle and Milo.

I shouldn't be surprised. Milo is a friendly sort of guy, and it was only a matter of time before Estelle decided that her Tyson was long gone and that someone within our ranks would be good enough for her. I should be glad it is Milo. I wonder if he has told Wendy yet.

What really surprised me was the knife. That Claw Adil's knife.

Creed might be proud that I've decided to carry it.

Besides, trouble within the Claws can only mean good things for we Acerbi.

And I thought that a night at the Flagon would be problematic. Sure, there was a bit of a scene, but it wasn't anything to bad. It would have been worse if Thalin had actually used those damned guns.

God, I hope that girl is alright. If I made it worse fo

She'll be okay. Charon can't be as fast as she must be. He's older, for one, and was lugging that uzi like always.

( 'It takes more than a glass to fill an empty pool.' (Thalin, Milo, Charon, Estelle) )

He's learning how we wolves operate.

But he's still an ass.

Things will never be like they were. He's a fool to think they ever could be anything close.

( Play, damn you! (Desmond) )

OOC: Log dump

( 'Neither of you know when the other could wind up dead, and just 'tween us down here, I'm willing to stake my slug gun here that you two care more 'bout each other than you're willing to admit. So listen to the fellow who lost it before he knew he had it here. Cause one of you could be dead before you know it.' (Creed, Desmond) )

In which Desmond and the Blood Meridian troops come to the compound for training, Ilse and Desmond swap words and growls, and Creed demands a reconciliation of sorts.

I want out of here.

I want the darkness of Dietrich's basement.

I want the sound of Milo's and Matthias's keys and Bastion's guitar.

I want things to be simpler again.

I want

( 'You're nervous around snakes, aren't you?' (Creed, NPC: Lazarus )

In which Ilse arrives at Creed's compound and is introduced to a flashbang, Lazarus, and a fine view of Bleaker.

I've done the right thing.

I'm not dead. And I won't be in jail for the rest of my life.

It's supposed to hurt. It wouldn't be punishment if it didn't hurt.

( 'You can start by not feeding me that shit, ma'am. If it knows things like a doctor, if it can heal like a doctor, it's a Gaddam doctor, you hear?' (Creed, Abbey, NPC: Vanstot) )
In which Ilse turns herself into Zero Tolerance for one of the crimes Abbey and the Shadow Stalkers were charged for and is processed accordingly after her sentence is decided.

OOC: Since Ilse was summoned away from her job working at Dietrich Alder's textile booth in the bazaar, she wrote her beta a letter rather than disturb him at work.

Dietrich,

Even if Navarre had not summoned me and made his implications, I would have done this. It is the right thing to do. I trust you to keep the pack safe, though the threat will hopefully be reduced.

I'm not sure how the rest of the Children will react. I can't imagine it being positive. That might be where our greatest challenge lies.

I don't know if Zero Tolerance will announce their mistake. I would like to see you, but I do not want them to have any cause to take any of you in.

Always,
Ilse

That asshole. Luring me to the house just so he could

Verbal attacks are just as legitimate as physical ones. Especially with a lash like his.

Why doesn't he just go back to his cats in the Meridian? Or do they not want him anymore? Have I sullied him?

Fucking ass.

--

A coyote was scared of me. Am I that scary?

Radovan. I should find him again and talk to him.

I miss those days.


( 'If you continue moving at this pace, perhaps you can whore your way through the whole of Fenrir's Children!' (Desmond) )